A while ago, I didn't know what this word really meant. Now I can't get it out of my head. Ambivalence. From the Latin ambi, both, and valentia, strength. The state of holding two opposing feelings at the same time, with equal force. Not indifference. Not confusion about which one is real. Both, fully, at once. For mothers it takes a particular shape. The psychoanalyst Rozsika Parker named it in Torn in Two: the love and the resentment, the tenderness and the longing for spac

I dropped my daughter at nursery for the first time this week. I sat in the car afterwards and didn't move for a few minutes. There was this strange heaviness in my chest...not quite grief, not quite fear. Something in between. The absence of her in the back seat felt louder than it should have. It was a quiet moment. It was also, in its way, enormous. Not just for Alana. For me. I've spent twelve years working inside large organisations as a Consulting Principal. I've led be

The Crack in Certainty It wasn’t sudden. There was no lightning bolt moment. More like a quiet cracking open. Holding a newborn, I was confronted with something that felt both entirely biological and completely miraculous. I knew the science. I understood the cells, the hormones, the sequence of events. And still… it felt like magic. Both things can be true. That’s the part that surprised me. The Science of Awe There is actually research on this. Experiences of awe, the feeli

There’s a quiet expectation when women return to work after having a baby. The world seems to think you will pick up right where you left off. You’re expected to slot back in, remember everything, and be the same person you were before. This is… ambitious. Recently, I put the milk in the bathroom cupboard and almost placed the toilet brush in the fridge. So, no. I am not quite the same. The Science of Change (a reassuring reframe) It turns out, this isn’t merely sleep depriva

On paper, we’ve made progress. Women can build careers. Lead organisations. Earn, influence, decide. And yet... many women, particularly mothers, are more exhausted than ever. Because alongside this progress, something quieter has emerged: An unspoken expectation that we should be able to do everything. Work like we don’t have children. Parent like we don’t have work. Hold it all together seamlessly. The Reality: The Double Load Research consistently shows that women still ca

Artificial Intelligence is reshaping the world of work, and fast. By 2030, up to 30% of work hours could be automated (McKinsey), and 75% of workers are expected to use AI tools in their roles (Microsoft, 2024). At the same time, millions of women are navigating another profound shift: returning to work after motherhood. For many, this creates a perfect storm of change. You’ve evolved. The workplace has too. The Tension Mothers returning to work often face an invisible questi

“Mummy, what happens when we die?” And just like that, you’re no longer unloading the dishwasher. You’re standing at the edge of one of humanity’s oldest philosophical questions… being asked by someone who still calls yoghurt “yog-yog”. The Moment There’s a split second where you consider your options. Do you: Keep it light? Offer a simple, child-friendly answer? Or gently introduce the idea that death is the only certainty, and therefore the very thing that gives life urgenc