The Journey of Transformation: From Certainty to Wonder

The Crack in Certainty

It wasn’t sudden. There was no lightning bolt moment. More like a quiet cracking open. Holding a newborn, I was confronted with something that felt both entirely biological and completely miraculous. I knew the science. I understood the cells, the hormones, the sequence of events. And still… it felt like magic. Both things can be true. That’s the part that surprised me.

The Science of Awe

There is actually research on this. Experiences of awe, the feeling you get when something is vast, beautiful, or hard to fully comprehend, have been shown to:

• Reduce stress

• Increase feelings of connection

• Expand our sense of time and perspective

  
  

Standing in nature. Watching my child sleep. Realising I made them. It turns out that feeling of “this is bigger than me” is not irrational. It is deeply human. And, perhaps, necessary.

A Different Kind of Searching

Since becoming a mother, I’ve found myself drawn to things I wouldn’t have expected. Meditation. Eastern philosophy. Even astrology, which my former self would have dismissed in about three seconds flat. Not because I’ve abandoned logic, but because I’ve become more open to meaning. To patterns. To rhythm. To the idea that not everything needs to be optimised or explained immediately.

Nature as a Guide

What has stayed with me most is a pull towards something older. Simpler. Nature. The idea that there are seasons to everything:

• Growth

• Rest

• Change

• Letting go

  
  

Motherhood makes this impossible to ignore. You cannot rush a baby. You cannot control every outcome. You cannot optimise sleep, development, and emotions into a perfect system. (Many have tried.) Nature has its own pace. Increasingly, I find myself wanting to follow it rather than fight it.

From Control to Trust

Before, I think I believed that if I understood enough, planned enough, and worked hard enough, I could stay in control. Now, I’m less sure that control is the goal. There is something softer emerging. A willingness to:

• Sit in uncertainty

• Trust timing

• Accept that not everything needs to be forced

  
  

Not passive. But not constantly pushing either.

Rooted and Rising

“Rooted and rising” feels different through this lens.

Rooted in:

• The physical world

• The body

• Nature and its rhythms

  
  

Rising into:

• Curiosity about something beyond pure logic

• Practices that create space: meditation, reflection, stillness

• A sense of meaning that doesn’t need to be fully explained to be real

  
  

Embracing the Unknown

As I navigate this journey, I find comfort in the unknown. It’s a space filled with potential. Here, I can explore new ideas and beliefs without the pressure to define them immediately. This openness allows me to embrace the complexities of life, motherhood, and my evolving identity.

Finding Community

In this exploration, I’ve discovered the importance of community. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can be incredibly grounding. It’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone in my journey. We can support each other, share insights, and grow together.

The Balance of Science and Spirituality

I often reflect on the balance between science and spirituality. I appreciate the logic of science, yet I also find value in the mysteries of life. This duality enriches my understanding of the world. It encourages me to seek knowledge while remaining open to experiences that defy explanation.

Final Thought

I’m not sure what I believe. And that feels like an honest place to be. Somewhere between science and spirituality. Between structure and surrender. Between knowing and wondering.

But I do know this: Creating life has made the world feel more alive. And that feels like something worth paying attention to.

Rooted. And rising. 🌱

In this journey, I invite you to explore your own path. Embrace the uncertainties and find beauty in the unknown. Together, we can navigate this transformative experience with grace and curiosity.